Tubero – Kupal Destroyer (2018)


Tubero Brings Heavy Honest Pure Metal Music To The Fore

There’s no beating around the bush, no matter how thick the bush may be. They play hard, erect and direct. With songs the start and expire as fast as one can say “Mamatay Ka Na,” titles that could make blush even the likes of Boy Sullivan and Andrew E. (“Kevin Tuwad,” “Makapal Ang Bulbol Mo,” “Walang Panty,” “Isubo Ang Ulo Ng Tite,” “Lamasin Ang Suso,” “Kain Puki” and the one that goes “Ja-ja-ja-ja-ja-kol!”) and names that could make Marilyn Manson rethink his whole career (Birjin Pakir, Blodiab, Casket Maker), Tubero’s Kupal Destroyer, is hands down the best (and only) kupal metal album of the year.

Tubero plays their signature grind-kupal-core balls to wall. And they play harder, faster, hornier, vulgarer than any metal band I heard this year (only two as of last counting). They play fast and heavy. And they could flew by a set of 30-plus songs any given night. Not to mention, in front of “hostile and violent” crowd. And this ain’t just for laughs, even though Tubero’s brand of heavy metal comedy works on so many levels–deadpan, innuendo, high brow, low brow, no brow, dry, wet, meta, mock, even Spinal Tap Level. Whether accidental or by intent, they actually humanize heavy music. No small feat given that most metal bands monsterize or demonize it, as if trying to reach some sub-human level.

It is said that Tubero was conceived out of spare time, during jam sessions in between work. Songs came in buckets and so, the project blossomed into a full act. In a sense, they’re a salaryman’s band, working class musicians making music during off hours. Probably, with the working class audience in mind. Because their music won’t take much of your time. Streaming their full concert on the Facebook page only cost a few hundred megabytes. There are no high concepts, no pretensions. While they’re typically skilled, virtuosity is not the focus in their songs. This isn’t Sky Church. This isn’t Wolfgang or Razorback either—coño boys playing for the coño crowd singing about coño stuff.

Rather, their songs are about you and me, the daily struggles of an everyman, like dealing with questionable authority (i.e., the pesky guard, your asshole boss) and sex, lots and lots of sex or the lack thereof—also, sex and heavy music (i.e., headbanging, windmilling, air guitaring, cookie monster vocalizing) as a form of release, an outlet for the stress we get from our daily work.

I could probably add a few more words but this is getting uncharacteristically long, especially for a band who has a one-second song. So, I’ll just wrap this up by borrowing a few words from the heaviest local metal band from the 90s, The April Morning Boys: VULGAR DISPLAY OF POWER—that’s Kupal Destroyer in four fukcin’ words.


P.S. I bet you haven’t seen grindcore played live like this—with a fuckin’ keyboardist in the mix—tapping vigorously on his keyboard, and not even plugged in to a computer.

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