I missed the chance to make this post on Christmas Day so I am taking back that chance now. Because, what’s the difference anyway? Christmas, New Year? When you realized that the “new year” only gives you a false sense of discontinuity, as if the time is a timer that resets every three-hundred sixty Continue reading “Top 10 Porn for Christmas Day”
Another unnecessary remake?
Heard about this remake probably two years ago, then kind of forgot it exists. Never cared who’s in it, who’s behind it. Until two days ago, when I caught the movie’s final third. Or should I say, it caught me—off guard—as I found myself transported right in the middle of Rose Creek in the heat of the battle, running for cover Continue reading “The Magnificent Seven (2016)”
We’re Cancelling The Apocalypse!
If there’s one movie that had me preoccupied for most of March and April, that would be Endgame, Avengers: Endgame. And I saw it on its opening day. And we did no online reservation whatsoever. Just went to one cinema far from the city, where online reservations and reserve seating aren’t still a thing. And Boom! Tony Stark died. Continue reading “Movie Re-watch: Assault On Precinct 13, Slither, Samurai X, Pacific Rim”
You were young and so in love
But your ex-boyfriend married another girl
‘Cause you were dusted in the snap
Now, do you say, “Thank you, Tony Stark?”
You used to have a high-paying job
But you were dusted in the snap
Now you’re back and you’re jobless
Now, do you say, “Thank you, Tony Stark?”
Not to mention, your colleagues are all managers now.
You have a family
Three kids, a beautiful wife
But they’re five years older now.
And your ex-wife married another man.
One of your kids committed suicide, another is in jail
And your youngest got into drugs.
You could say that you just suck as a Dad.
But you wouldn’t be so miserable
Had you remained dusted due to the snap.
And worse, the Avengers brought you back
Now, tell me, do you still say, “Thank you, Tony Stark?”
You were just a kid when you lost your mom and dad
And it’s because those supes in Wakanda
Failed to plan their counterattack
You said you’d avenge them, so you became Kick-Ass
But with no superpower, superheroing just sucks
Now your parents are back
But their baby boy’s gone
In fact, Kick-Ass was gone, dead, hit by a truck
Now, you can’t possibly still say “Thank you, Tony Stark.”
This isn’t really about Tony Stark but Marvel’s creative decision to make that five-year jump after the “snap” which brought up a lot of questions which Avengers: Endgame did not or failed to address. Of course, Marvel seems to have everything planned and they seem to have reasons behind the five-year jump. It’s just that at the moment, I’m not fully convinced that everything is A-OK after the Hulk made that second snap. And these are some of the worse case scenarios. I might still add a few verses later. And feel free to add your own verse/s below.
1. Justine Bieber. That moment when Rocket joked about Captain Marvel’s ever changing haircut. Yup, Captain Marvel is Disney’s attempt at a lesbian superhero. And they still couldn’t spell it out. Where’s your balls
Kevin Feige Mickey Mouse? Also, Deadpool did it first. And she has a very cool name: Negasonic Teenage Warhead. Continue reading “11 Favorite Moments In ‘Avengers: Endgame’”
Everyone’s into time travel now, thanks to Avengers: Endgame. It’s an interesting concept—time travel. In the MCU, it was first hinted at in Doctor Strange. Then, in Infinity War. Below’s an old post of mine, which I came up with after binge-watching Tarantino movies, Scorsese’s gangster films, and exploitation movies from the ’70s. Continue reading “Captain America goes back to the ’70s to save Nick Fury”
Avengers: Endgame Is The Super Duper $@%!#& Season Finale of the Year
The End Is The Beginning Is The End
Avengers: Endgame isn’t “the best MCU movie or the best superhero movie since (insert your preference here),” but it does what it has to do, “whatever it takes.” Even if that means Endgame makes for an unwieldy, ponderous, pandering, uneven, thrilling ride. It’s a crowd-pleaser and super duper entertaining. Continue reading “Avengers: Endgame (2019)”