Firewoman. Hungry Young Poets. I wanna be a firewoman. I’ll water down your desire. I’m not really sure I’m right about this one, which is why it’s first on the list. But Barbie Almalbis also wrote “Belinda Bye-bye,” which means, she wasn’t afraid to write about, y’know, “stuff.” And there’s “fire” in the lyrics. I initially included Up Dharma Down’s “We Give in Sometimes” and Sinosikat?’s “Turning My Safety Off” in this list, because there’s also “fire” in the lyrics, but I scrapped them because I was not really sure they’re really about what I initially thought they were about.
Daliri. Kwjan. It’s more in the delivery, the funk, the riffs, and what isn’t said in the lyrics. Also, you can read “Daliri mo’y may labi” as “Labi mo’y may daliri.” O, di ba?
Pateros. Apartel. After Sampaguita’s “Laguna,” Sugarfree’s “Los Baňos,” Cambio’s “DV,” comes this. Unlike those songs, this one’s a funky double entendre. Bagsakan ng itlog. And bagsakan here should be taken in a similar way The Advisors and P.O.T. used yugyugan in “Yugyugan Na.” Not the same bagsakan in that PNE song, or in those college humor memes.
Sisid. Apartel. Sisisirin ko ang pag-ibig mo, ang pag-ibig mo. Again, more suggestive than, um, non-suggestive, just like “Pateros.”
Paano Sasabihin? Sandwich. Mula nang matikman, ‘di na magkukunwari. Magwawala na tila, nakawala sa tali. Mula nang matikman, tumulay sa bahaghari, napapanaginipan matamis mong mga labi.
Tikman. Eraserheads. ‘Di mapakali, magdamag hinahanap. Nababaliw tuwing naaalala ang init. ‘Di malimutan, kailangang muling makamit ang tamis sa aking mga labi. It’s really about burgers, really. Minute Burger. Have you ever tried their burgers? They’re really small! But they have coleslaw, which is good. And I think they have hot dogs and buns as well. Hot dogs, burgers, buns. That’s what this is really about.
Abot Langit. Maris Racal. Sexy dance moves, suggestive lyrics, I dunno if people still care if today’s young stars still try to maintain immaculately wholesome image the way they used to or not. Well, I don’t really care what people care about anyway. Halika na dito alam ko namimiss mo. At ako’y sabik na rin sa hawak mo… Um, “hawak mo”? Sa music video, pizza delivery man si Rico Blanco. At pagbukas ni Maris ng pinto, andoon s’ya at may hawak na naghahabaan, nagtitigasang… (clears throat) may hawak s’yang box ng pizza. Teka, ulitin natin: Halika na dito alam ko namimiss mo. At ako’y sabik na rin sa hawak mo at halik mo na mismong bubuo ng araw ko. Dahan-dahan… Baby, sana lang wag mong itigil. O kay sarap mong damhin. ‘Wag itigil ang alin?
Wag Na Sana ‘kong Gumising Mag-Isa. Jastafraz’s Chechebureche feat. Uela Basco. Sexy. Sultry. Steamy. Slowly. Gently. Inhale. Exhale. Slowly in. Slowly out. Ganun talaga pag may sipon ka at ‘di ka makahinga at feeling mo may Covid ka. Magbalot ka ng kumot, at langhapin ang steam na nagmumula sa palangganang may pinakulong tubig na may asin at vicks. Lalo na kung pakiramdam mo nag-aalab ang katawan mo, baka lagnat na ‘yan. Mag-suob ka.
Rodeo. Rivermaya. A song about lovers in a long distance relationship who miss each other SO MUCH and a secret love song cherishing the time they spent together. And by “time spent together,” you know what I mean, just read the lyrics: Ro-De-O-uh-oh-oh-oh! Like the buffalos do it by the wishing well ’cause they haven’t got no money for a cheap motel. Ro-De-O-uh-oh-oh-oh! What sweeter thing could happen to a boy an’ a girl? We gotta do it like mechanical rabbits from hell, yeah!
10. Grin Department. Count to ten… Sabi niya, baka mo lang daw pintasan. Pag natikman baka bigla mong ayawan. Kaya naman kanyang iniingatan. Ang sabi ko inyo munang pag-isipan. Sampung beses sampung beses. This song suggests that boy and girl should think and talk about it before doing the deed. Despite having the usual double-entendres (Baka kayo magkasubuan) we have come (no pun intended) to expect from the band, this one I think is pretty insightful, maybe even useful, like you can use it as a supplementary sex ed. material.
Alamona. End of Contracts. Ang tamis ng yung halik at ang alam mo na. Ang magising sa iyong piling na wala ka nang iba. Ang haplos ng iyong kamay at ang alam mo na. Ang tuloy-tuloy mong agos na animo’y lawa na. Obvious naman na tungkol ito sa, alam mo na.
Chatters’ Tale. Orange & Lemons. We went to your bedroom. You took off your clothes, my heart went boom. The passion we shared, was unbelievable. How many times we did, it I can’t recall. Yeah, we wish all chatroom encounters end like this.
Isang Gabi. Orange & Lemons. Sa pag-uwi, ‘di pa rin malimot ang ‘yong mga ngiti. ‘Di na makatulog, parang kaluluwang ‘di matahimik. Naghihintay ng bukas. Dahil sa isang gabing kapiling ka. Ako ngayo’y naiinip sa’ting muling pagkikita. Clem Castro is one horny motherfucker.
Heroine. The Mongols. I promise you my heart. We’ll never be apart. I’m gonna fuck you like there’s no tomorrow.
Karayom. Rivermaya. Natusok ka ng ‘sang karayom na ginagamit mo pangtahi ng butas na palda mo. Talagang ganyan, ‘wag kang matakot, hayaan mo at bukas ay wala na ang kirot. Pikit mo na lang muna ang iyong mga mata. There’s little doubt that Mike Elgar has written the horniest songs on Rivermaya’s catalog. He also wrote “Desperado” (At tuwing kumakain, sana ikaw ang nakahain).
Hand-Painted Sky. Color It Red. When lips touch lips and tongue meets tongue. My roaming hands begin to explore. Ask for more, ask for more. And as the night air cooled, the beads of perspiration from my brow (?). I trembled in expectation of what is to come. Until my skin presses against your skin. And everything begins to peak. Slowly, gently, you thrust me deep.