A Walk To Remember

Once in a while, an old record pops in my head. Could be an old song I used to hear on the radio, or a record I used to listen to before. A couple of months ago, I remember the soundtrack of A Walk Remember. Remember that movie, with Mandy Moore and Shane West, and based on a Nicholas Sparks novel? Well, Nicholas Sparks’ movies are, for some people, these are the “shit.” For others, they’re simply, shit. Most of them are anyway, I suppose. In varying degrees of shitty-ness.

A Walk To Remember, the movie, is probably less shittier than the others. Though I can’t really say, I’ve only seen two of them, the other being The Notebook. And I trust Jolens with my life, when she said that The Notebook is one of the best examples of the movie being better than the book it was based on. But that’s probably mainly because the book is really shitty, there’s no way a decent movie could be worse than it, right Jolens? Between these two movies, I think The Notebook is the less shittier one. It’s more watchable, but only if you remove the part where the main characters are both old, and the old guy who used to look like Ryan Gosling with beard, can’t remember a fuck.

But first I want to ask: Can’t Nicholas Fucking Sparks just give his fucking characters a happy ending, a fucking real happy ending? In A Walk To Remember, bad boy Shane West finally gets the gospel girl (Mandy Moore), but then she’s terminal, she’s got cancer, and she died not long after their wedding. What the fuck? Then, in The Notebook, Ryan Gosling finally ends up with Rachel McAdams, against all odds, but then their story is framed as flashbacks or memories of two old people, both of whom are unreliable narrators, because you can’t really be sure the old woman’s memories are at least 50% accurate and true. Then, the old guy finally remembers, and them he dies. What the fuck?! And from what I heard, Kevin Costner drowns in Message In A Bottle, another movie based on a Sparks book. Yes, the girl in the story finds great love when she finds the guy who wrote that love letter inside a bottle, then the guy dies in a boating incident. What a twist?!

If you haven’t seen both movies, and can’t decide which to watch first, let me tell you this: The Notebook is worth watching for only one thing. And what is that? It’s worth watching for that very hot hot sex scene after the main characters get wet (no pun intended) in the rain, where Ryan Gosling has to walk up the stairs while carrying Rachel McAdams with his pants pull down to his knees. Honestly, it’s the pants pulled down to the knees part that made that feat so remarkable. And without tripping himself on the staircase! Really long strong pair of legs you have there, Mr. Gosling. Great balance too.

The scene plays out like this. Ryan and Rachel go boating on a river, a heated argument follows, then it rains. The two go for the banks, then Ryan picks up Rachel, her legs around his waist as they kiss. It’s still raining by the way. And they’re both soaking wet. Guy picking up a girl like she weighs nothing is already a feat in itself. Yes, haven’t tried it myself since it’d really look silly doing it with a pillow, but it’s not an easy thing to do.

Ryan goes inside the house, still carrying Rachel. I don’t remember how or who did it but his buckle gets undone, and his pants falls to his knees. Then he climbs the stairs, pants pulled down, while carrying and kissing Rachel. (This is what REAL multitasking is, not the one most managers in your office think. It’s something not everyone can do.) Then, Rachel proceeds to unbutton her top and takes it off. That scene could have go on further or longer but since it cuts after that, it would be too much already to ask for more, given how it already showcased a wet hot kissing scene and Ryan’s superhuman abilities.

On the other hand, A Walk To Remember has this really virginal scene where Mandy Moore lies on a picnic blanket while kind of trying to seduce Shane West into going to bed with her so that they can read the Bible together, while Shane’s busy with the telescope trying so hard to convince us, the audience, that these kids would rather put up a telescope and watch the skies or whatever rather than make out on the grass.

This is already longer than what I intended. And I haven’t gotten into the soundtrack yet. So, maybe next time I’ll write about the soundtrack, and Switchfoot. But before we end, which is worth watching first? Depends on your preference but I’d say The Notebook. Then, you can switch it off after the river-staircase scene described above.