The Hitman’s Bodyguard (2017)

Initially thought this is funnier than Deadpool 2. But that’s maybe because I’ve seen Deadpool 2 many times already. And then I saw this one. And it was refreshing that Ryan Reynolds isn’t the snarky one. That he’s being upstaged by and clearly no match to Mr. Nick Fury without the eyepatch. And Dios Mio! I never thought Salma Hayek would be the perfect match for the foul-mouthed Samuel L. Jackson.

Plot? Forget it. All I need is Sam Jackson in the passenger seat singing some blues while Mr. Pool answers with an Ace of Base tune and I’m in. No questions asked. Gary Oldman, made older with some thick make-up, as the Russian-therefore-he’s-bad dictator is the perfect baddie for bad-guy-is-good-guy Sam Jackson. Where have we seen that before? Probably from some forgettable action movie the title of which I can’t remember right now because the movie was, uhm, forgettable.

This movie is loaded with all the cliche an action movie fan could think of. It’s a little too long to waste 2 hours at the movies when it could have easily been just around ninety minutes. Though I never really checked my watch until near the third act. Which only means Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson (plus Salma Hayek) could be entertaining as fuck.

But still, two hours is a little too long when I could pretty much predict what’s going to happen or how it’s going to happen in the end. And that’s 242 words for a not so memorable movie. Make that 252. Wait, it’s 255 now. Two-fifty… Oh, I don’t how to end