Breeder’s Digest

Contrary to that Ben Folds Five song (which none of you probably knows), nobody wants to be Kate. No, not in this movie. Nobody would want to be in her position. Female assassin and young girl pairing works better here than in Gunpowder Milkshake, the same way the multiple double crosses works better in Anna than in Atomic Blonde. If you’re an action movie fans, or just a fan of this kind of movies, this is my ranking of the movies and recommendation, best to worst.

First is Anna, because Cillian Murphy is in it, and Sasha Luss pulls off her action scenes better than Mary Elisabeth Winstead and Karen Gillan. Minus points for her character saying this line about her being comparable to a Matryoshka doll; plus for having a climax where she goes to meet her KGB and CIA boyfriends and kissed them both one after the other instead of having shots fired. This is the best among the four, regardless of whether you think Luc Besson is guilty of all those sexual allegations or not.

Second would be Kate. Because Winstead gave strong vibes of Sigourney Weaver in it, though she didn’t look as tough. Kate is like a 1.5 hour long Japanese ad for Boom Boom Lemon. Keyword, “Japanese ad.” And Japanese ads are batshit crazy. Yes, the plot is simplistic and the character relationships contrived, but a Japanese girl taking a selfie inside a cab with her new-found friend who’s clearly tired and dying? Definitely a must-watch (for action movie fans). Also, you should definitely see Winstead kick some ass.

Third would be Atomic Blonde, if only for that final fight. Last would be Gunpowder Milkshake, because, I dunno, it tried to do a lot of cool things, like borrowing from John Wick and Baby Driver, only it failed in doing those cool things. There’s probably a clip of it on YouTube, the 3-on-1 fight inside a dental clinic, because that’s the best part of the movie.

There are a lot of good things in Army of the Dead even thought it doesn’t all come together nor ends with a bang: kung fu zombie, the king and queen of the damned, a zombie tiger, a military solution to a medical, er, I mean, zombie issue? Good stuff. There’s also this scene where a guy crawls out of Las Vegas after it was nuked and “Zombie” plays in the background. Yes, Zack Snyder juxtaposes the song’s anti-war message with nukes and zombie apocalypse. Nice! There’s a lot of good things in it that, maybe, should get more attention from movie fans, rather than whatever is in that other, four-hour long, Snyder movie.

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